Where do you turn when the day is tough, the medical diagnosis is something in uncharted territory, or you have happy pregnancy news? Who’s your team?
The relationships we foster with our friends, neighbors, and family can be looked at as the core of our influence, outlook, and motivation.
Time and again I have heard “you become who you surround yourself with.” I see the truth in this. I have a small, ultra-close team. But sometimes, I need a neutral, third party “sub,” if you will.
“Sub” goes back to my competitive volleyball playing days, when a sub is brought in to help the team work better, to start fresh, or to give a regular starting player’s body or mind a much-needed break.
In both my personal and health realms, I have elected to seek out professional help. You heard it here first. I sought out counseling. Hands down, one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. In my experience, the quality counseling I received propelled me forward – positively.
My experience was one of safe, open communication, non-judgmental, realistic and uplifting. Mind you, I’ve heard experiences to the opposite but plain and simple, mine was life-changing for the good.
It’s been confirmed to me that no one has the right to diminish how you are feeling. Why do I use the word confirmed? Because I had some self-doubt and anxiety after experiencing some pretty disappointing life experiences with people and situations. I learned that the emotions you feel are your emotions. A doctor, domestic partner, or spouse should not shame or intimidate you. If they do, in my opinion, you should get out of the situation. They don’t respect you. They can’t possibly want the best for you. Controlling or authoritative traits are not healthy, positive behaviors.
I have found it helpful to write down, journal what my experiences are. You know my love for journaling – and what better way than kicking off this chapter in my life with this beautiful new journaling set I was gifted!
Write about how you feel. I’ve found certain statements are easier to resonate within when they are on paper. Look past the words and apply it to yourself. I have done this time and time again. Sometimes bigger decisions are more mentally draining. Transformation takes time.
Exerting strength is not always easy. Write down how you feel: good, bad, and neutral. Notice, acknowledge, and celebrate the small successes over the coming days, weeks, and months. You will be incredibly proud of yourself.
A good counselor has the training and ability to provide a talk-through on the touchiest of subjects in your life. Just like with doctors, notice if your counselor takes a seat and calmingly listens to you. Or, if the counselor stands, pointing, and saying things that are rather aggressive. These small (but highly important) behaviors are impacting you – mentally and emotionally. The better counselor is the first type.
When I’m actively seeking help from a professional, I do it because I want to be a better person and partner. My goal is to be healthier, happier, and able to communicate in a cohesive fashion.
Why would anyone want to be in a hostile, angry, blame-shifting, and negative relationship? To me, that serves no purpose other than negatively impacting blood pressure and bringing on emotional turmoil.
Things that made me frustrated four years ago are no longer frustrations, but accomplishments. Confusing and heavy emotions I felt a year ago have transcended me into a solid, open communicator who beams with happiness. I am proof that you can turn negative experiences into positive ones! You can too! I’ve put in the work, healed from both health and personal dilemmas and continued to skip along on the path of life.
I am proud of myself. We as humans are constantly evolving. Everything around us is in motion and evolving. Make it into a positive evolvement! I know when I look back, I feel immensely grateful I kept moving forward.
I fired my doctor, I educated myself on who I wanted in charge of my medical care, I sought out the right doctors for my health conditions (proactive and dedicated to helping me feel better – ones who didn’t want to see me repeat prior poor health conditions), and most importantly, I asked questions.
I sought out who I felt comfortable with for counseling when struggling. I found someone who let it truly be a free space, who reminded me that it is okay to cry and be sensitive, that these are all human emotions.
It’s time to focus on feeling good. The sooner you focus on the good going on around you, the quicker you begin a whole new, more positive chapter in your life.
Try and find that silent space where you are okay. Once you get a ways down your path, you won’t even consider turning around / looking back. You’ll recognize how healthy (mentally, emotionally, physically) you are and how the sky is brighter.
You’ll step into your own power, achieve your fullest potential, and be able to identify what is for your greatest good. It’s a renewed, positive aura, because you’ve found yourself.
Consider releasing the negative and allowing only the positive in. Positive thinking, positive experiences, positive people, people that lift you up through all the times – the happy, the mediocre, the celebratory, and all those moments in-between.
Coming next: Managing pain begins with inward focus