Healing is an individual effort, not predictable

You both tripped while walking, yet your bruise lingers days later than your partner’s. What gives?

Healing time variances can also relate to receiving less-than-favorable health news, the passing of someone special in your life, or a situation that caused you significant emotional impact.

Healing is healthy. In my mind, through trial and error, I’ve learned healing equals progress. It projects you forward. It is the opposite of being “stuck.” I don’t want to be stuck in a poor mindset, in shock, or in disbelief. I choose to gracefully put one foot in front of the other to heal.

Working through the grief / pain via baby steps leads to a modified version of you. You’re updated, just like the recent iPhone version.  Disease, loss, new beginnings, and healing can lead to a newfound happiness, perception, and a grateful heart. Nobody expects you to wake up the next morning and say “all good here” (wiping any existence of the triggering event from your mind).

But I can attest that education of a chronic illness you may now be living with, connecting with others that are experiencing the same situation as you, and working towards small goals can transcend the concern and “what-if’s” into a new light.

A gradual healing progress makes sense, because with time and effort, you’ll get to a point where the event that caused the pain/confusion makes more sense and doesn’t sting so bad or at all, and you’re navigating along much more steadily than when you started.

An example that’s crystal clear in my mind is how I’ve healed from my grandmother’s death. In due time, I was able to wrap my head around that sad event. I didn’t know what tools would help me through the process and in any event, it took me close to five years. I never lose sight of the fact that my bond with her is timeless.



Healing to me in this instance was coming to grips with that fact that she truly is in a better place and not struggling with her many health problems any longer. It’s taken a lot of internal work, vocalizing with others the happy memories we spent with her, and thinking of her often. What I believe now is that it was her time. From this experience I am confident that while in the future I will need to heal from other loved ones’ deaths, I, when I’m ready, will take action to work through the stages of grief. I won’t pressure myself; I will not fake it ‘til I make it type of thing, but I will keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Not too long after her passing, meningitis and migraine entered my life. I also healed from that after going through what I felt were of series of traumatic events. It began with being misdiagnosed at the emergency room, the fear of getting a spinal tap (that needle is serious), and other concerning medical news shared on the night I was properly diagnosed in the hospital. 

The medical diagnoses and experiences are not the only aspects we as humans must experience, process, and try to heal from. It’s the judgment, constant chit chatter, and the believability factor from peers, co-workers, and for many, family.

We have to learn to heal from others’ judgments and harsh words i.e. our “critics.” 

Letting it go in one ear and out the other is easier said than done. I know a few people (who I admire), that are so secure in themselves that the negative ‘noise’ doesn’t bother them. It takes a lot of work to get to that point – but the benefits are tenfold. 

I’ve come to clearly understand from individuals living with chronic illness that they are left out of family occasions (because “You’ll complain too much of your pain,” “You can’t walk as fast as us,” and “I think your condition is all in your head”). 

Or they are denied employment (as illegal as we know it to be, it sadly still occurs in 2022). 

Even friends share negative comments or statements based on limitations and individual decisions as to what’s best for a person’s health. 

It’s a great time to remind yourself to not let the setbacks and outside noise distract you. Let your plan (purpose), commitment, and a hopeful mind be the guiding forces. 

At the end of the day, healing is a constant in our lives even if those who choose to judge, shift blame, or act like they have no reason to be healing. 

To me, when a comment comes my way based on limitations and my choices, I do my best to not let that interrupt my healing. We’ve all got a full plate, why let someone else add unnecessary sides to your plate?!

As shared in Vanderbilt Medicine Magazine, “The essentials of healing includes adequate and current knowledge of medicine by the physician, use of appropriate tests, establishments of a positive doctor-patient relationship, good communication, and practice of ethical and high quality medicine.”

Healing is a personal journey. I view closure in the same light. Both are very intimate processes. 

Louise L. Hay’s quote is one I feel compelled to share, “You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds. Claim and consciously use your power.”

She continues, “Every thought we think is creating our future.”

So friends, what’s your thought at this moment?



Coming next: Allergy specialist says “20% of my patients complain of headaches”